A Heart FULL of Thankfulness

As I sit here listening to the rain on this early Friday morning, I am humbled by just how AWESOME God is. This time last year my life had hit such a low point. I had just found out I would no longer be teaching at the same school, I had no clue where I was going to find a job, and we were having to look for a new place to live. Last summer was hectic to say the least. I feel as though all I did was go on job interviews. These interviews would go so well then nothing would come of them. What I didn't see while I was in the midst of the storm was that God was weaving together His timeline - HIS PLAN for my life. He was setting things into motion that would place me exactly where I am today. These last 12 months have been a journey of learning what it truly means to trust God. He is in control NOT me. Only in my weakness and dependency could he work in and through my life. While we didn't know how we would survive financially month to month, God always provided. It has always been difficult for me to ask for help especially financial help. I would guess it stems from a first-born thing as well as a pride thing. This year we have had to humble ourselves in ways that were very uncomfortable, but God used those times to show us His power and His great love for us. We are so thankful for all the help and support of our families. Last year God was able to work in my life and prove His faithfulness to me time and time again. I truly know from the deepest parts of me that I can count on God; He will always take care of me. To be a child of God is such a wonderful thing. I was also able to reflect on many things through this year's journey of waiting on God. I realized I can look back to several times in my life when God was trying to teach me to wait on Him and those times helped to prepare me for this past year. It seems silly now, but as a teenager I did not have many boyfriends. Most of my friends had boyfriends as well as my sister. I remember praying to God and asking Him for a boyfriend. I felt as if I had to wait FOREVER. Now though I can look back and be thankful that I only had a few boyfriends. I am so thankful to God that I did not share my heart with too many young men. I am so humbled by God's plan to bring Michael and I together, and I am thankful that I did not have a long line of relationships before dating Michael. In the grand scheme of things, I realize now that I didn't actually have to wait that long to find Michael. BUT when you are in the midst of waiting it seems to take forever. That was the case with my Exit Exams to be able to intern before I could graduate from college. I had to take sections of that exam over and over and over again. I was so worried I wouldn't graduate. It seemed to take so long for me to finally pass all the sections. I knew that nothing but God's grace and mercy would get me through that time in my life. When I decided to rely on Him instead of myself, I finally passed. Then God thought it was time to work on the whole waiting thing again. During the course of our 6 year dating relationship, we had so very many friends get engaged and married before we ever graduated from college. I didn't understand why I was having to feel so left out. Why did I have to wait SO long. Of course I was elated for my friends; I just wanted to share in their joy and experience that stage of life at the same time. Michael and I had decided early on that we would not get married until we had both graduated from college. I know God put that in our hearts, but sometimes it was very difficult to accept that when all my friends were getting married and starting their lives together as husband and wife. Then the day finally arrived!! Michael proposed to me, and it was THE BEST DAY EVER!!! We were college graduates, and we were engaged. Life was grand! Then there was another lesson in waiting on the Lord! Boy was He trying to get me attention! Ideally we both wanted jobs before marriage. Living requires money, and we didn't have any! We both began interviewing right away. It was pretty much a series of rejection. The waiting was stressful and exhausting. Then God did something amazing. You really do have to appreciate His timing and his humor. I received THE CALL with my first ever job offer THE DAY BEFORE our wedding! I was humbled and blown away. The Lord is my shepherd and I shall NOT want! It was such an amazing feeling knowing we could go on our honeymoon completely carefree because when we returned we would both begin our new jobs. The Lord wanted me to learn to wait on Him in all those previous times as preparation for what was going to happen in April of 2013. Losing my job was certainly a hard pill to swallow, but as I reflect now I am so grateful God worked out everything exactly the way He did. I am now teaching 7th and 11th grade English at a great school that is close to home (so no more hour long commute). I know that there is no perfect school, and that all schools have their faults because schools are run by humans and all humans are flawed. I also know that I have found a place where I can be the teacher God designed me to be. This week leading up to Easter was Spiritual Emphasis week, and all the services were just so amazing. God is not only doing an awesome work in our school, but He is using the people of that school to continue His work in my life. I have only been teaching these students a few weeks, but I already care so much about them. I am humbled and honored that God chose me to help reach them with His love. My prayer is that He will use me to show His light and truth for their lives. I am so very thankful for all of God's lessons on waiting in my life. Time after time He continues to prove that He truly does have a great plan for my life. Thankfully now I can go into the next lesson of waiting knowing so genuinely that He will give me the desires of my heart in His Time. Michael and I want nothing more than to be parents. We have been trying for 15 months. I know there is a reason God is having us wait. I know that we can trust God and that He will work out all the details in His time. God says my faith can move mountains so I choose to believe that my faith can bring me the desires of my heart in the form of a baby. We look forward to growing our family. We are excited about what God has planned to teach us this year. In the midst of the storm, it may seem as though there is no end to your misery in sight, but know that God always has a plan. I for one am glad the He is in control. I wouldn't want it any other way. My heart is so full of joy and peace and love and gratitude. God is certainly not dead! He is most definitely living on the inside of me, and He has a great plan for my life! God is so good!