I would always tell my students that everyone has a story, and I truly do believe this. When it comes to my story there are many aspects that most people know. Most people that are involved in my life know that I am the oldest of six children. My parents had me, then Christina and Christopher (twins), and then they decided to pause. Eventually they had Nicolas and Michael and McKenna (twins). I am almost 10 years older than Michael and McKenna. I look back at my life and realize I grew up quickly with all the responsibilities of being the first born in a large family. At times I didn't always like my situation, but now that I am 26 years old I appreciate just how wonderful my family is. Family is the thing I cherish most. Most people also know that I met my husband when we were in the 7th grade. We began dating our senior year of high school. We dated for 6 years. Marrying Michael was the best decision I ever made. During our time together, my family has expanded because of Michael's awesome family. I am truly blessed by our loving families. Something most people do not know is that we have been trying to have a baby since January 2013. I want nothing more than to have children with my husband and be a mommy.
Through the struggle to become pregnant my relationship with God has strengthen. Most days would have been unbearable without Him and His presence and peace in my life. That is not to say this year has been easy. I have had to rely on Him like I never had before. My mother was able to have so many children and now my younger sister has already had her first child. I feel like as a woman I should be able to do this one thing above all other things. I know that is silly to say, but that is how I feel. I know that God has an amazing plan for my life and that I need to wait on His timing, but that is easier said than done. I am so grateful for my husband and his unending kindness, compassion, and love for me. I am also so very thankful for the blogs I have discovered that show me that we are not alone in this struggle to become pregnant. I know there are people out there that having been trying for years and years and years to become pregnant. Their advice and experiences are encouraging. I know that God will give me the desires of my heart, but that it may be in a way that I could never imagine on my own. Speaking of God's way, He chose to have His Son born in a stable. The Innkeeper really missed out on being a part of an amazing experience. With that said, I do not want to become so consumed with trying to have a baby that I miss out on something God has prepared just for me. I know that He has placed this desire to be a mommy in my heart. I now just need to be patient and wait on Him. I am so thankful for the lessons I have learned this year and for the lessons I will continue to learn. While I very much want to be blessed with a child, I do realize that I have already been blessed with many wonderful gifts from God. I want my focus to be on seeking the Lord and His plan for my life. I know that some days will be easier than others. For those more difficult days, it is nice to know the stories of others and to know that I am not alone in this struggle. My hope is that a baby is in our near future, but if that is not the case I want to remain thankful for the family that I do have.